things my mama taught me.
- that life moves on.
- to stand up for myself.
- surround myself with good girlfriends. my mom’s best friends are wonderful women who i think of as second mom’s. i know my girlfriend’s will be the same for my children.
- never to take myself too seriously.
- how to make the most yummy pot roast ever. (it’s still my favorite meal)
- supper as a family is really important.
- to sing to my babies.
- not to ever let anyone tell me i can’t do something or that i’m not good enough.
- always write a thank you note and always rsvp.
- be a creative mother. she filled my childhood with music, art, crafts, and travel.
- a power nap and a hot bath can fix anything.
- that life doesn’t always turn out how you planned it. sometimes, it’s even better.
things my grandmother taught me.
- to lighten up.
- details matter. every year my grandmother writes a chapter of a book about her life and gives it to us on our mccluskey girl’s weekend. she is a wonderful story-teller and remembers things in the most wonderful (and often times, hilarious) detail. it’s obvious she lives in the moment.
- a quiet strength is the most powerful.
- how to make a casserole out of a whole week of leftovers.
- to do a puzzle everyday. it keeps you smart.
- hospitality. she has the awesome ability to make anyone feel welcome in her home.
- to travel the world.
- that dirty jokes are really funny, especially when coming from a preacher’s wife.
- that grandmother’s give the best advice, solicited or not. and they’re always right. always.
- that humming the tune of a song that you make up as you go is a perfect way to fill the silence.
- there is no need to buy tupperware as long as cool whip and butter comes in plastic containers.
- that being a wife and a mother is empowering.
an antidote to sadness
so sorry for my absence, friends. this blog is primarily dedicated to sharing and writing about things that inspire me — beautiful design, artists, pretty things — things that make me happy. however, as i have learned lately, sometimes life becomes so very difficult, and happiness is hard to come by. this isn’t a bad thing — what kind of people would we really be if all we were to seek was happiness? how would be learn to be compassionate if it was all we ever felt? i remember one time telling a very close friend that i was praying for a loved one to be happy. ever so gently, she looked at me and said, “perhaps you’re praying for the wrong thing.”
i’m not going to elaborate on the details of what has been going on, but i do want to talk about grief and what i have learned during my journey with it. also, know that aaron, my husband, and my son, eli, are both well. i don’t want there to be any confusion as to whether any of this pertains specifically to one of them. thank god, it does not. we have, however, experienced loss and heartbreak. in the midst of it, i received the most beautiful message from my granddaddy. the first line read, ” an antidote to sadness is thanksgiving”. it went on to talk about the things he was thankful for and it left me thinking about how to navigate through my own grief, and thanksgiving became a wonderful and beautiful answer to that.
grief is often described as a pause, and i’d say thats a very accurate description. life just stops and suddenly, the weight of each moment feels like it could very well crush you in an instant. it’s slow and painful and steady. it spreads like wildfire, because not only do you grieve, but the people who love you grieve as well. after receiving my granddaddy’s note, i made a point every day of writing down things i was thankful for. some of them were thanksgiving in details i’m not comfortable sharing in such a public way, but most were things that i would have told you i was definitely grateful for before. but now, i am thankful in a new way, a better way.
my husband. i love this man so much. he is my partner, my soul mate. he knows me better than anyone and he loves me so well. he knows when i need him to sit with me in silence and hold my hand, when i need him to speak words of encouragement, or do something silly to make me laugh. he can always, always make me smile, even through tears and heartbreak. it is an honor to be this man’s wife, to have someone love me the way he does.
elijah. as my grandmother told me, it really is impossible to be sad around a 3-year-old. i cannot believe god blessed me with this little boy. he has a kind heart and the sweetest spirit. he is hilarious and honest and has the most amazing imagination. he’s been so healing to me.
my family. we share our joys as well as our sorrows. when my heart breaks, theirs does just the same. there is great comfort in knowing your grief is being carried by the ones who love you most.
my friends. i have the most amazing friends. you know who you are—you took off work just to sit with me. you checked in and cared for me and brought us meals for days on end. you prayed on my behalf and loved me well. you are many, and i am better for each of you.
timing. that one might surprise a few people, but after coming out of this fog, i can see god’s timing all over this. we were unable to go on family trip to ireland we had planned for almost a year. it really felt at the time like insult added to injury, but i know god’s hands of protection and healing were surrounding us. we missed out on a wonderful trip with the majority of my very favorite human beings, but lucky for me, those people like to spend time with me in-country as well. we will do plenty to make up for it, i’m sure. and i really don’t think ireland is going anywhere, anyway.
perspective. life is full of moments that alter the way we see things. sometimes, it’s something small, like a random act of kindness from a stranger that makes us more aware of how we treat the people around us. sometimes it’s something so wonderful that words will never do that moment justice, but you walk away knowing you’ll never be the same. and sometimes, it’s a storm you walk through, with nothing but faith assuring you that there will be brighter days ahead. all of them make you see things differently — with more appreciation, more thanksgiving for the abundant blessings you already have.
our jobs. i work with the most amazing creative team. they are like family in many ways and have given me the gift of having as much time away that i needed. aaron, of course, works with his parents, who have done exactly the same and encouraged us to spend the past few weeks together without worry. it has been an incredible blessing to us to know that we both work for places that understand that work is not our first priority, nor do they encourage it to be.
the ocean. i know that sounds totally out of left field, but i’m serious. aaron and i were given an opportunity to get out of town. we went to rosemary beach which is possibly one of my favorite little spots on earth. for days, it was me, my husband, and the ocean. i don’t know how anyone can stand on the shore and doubt the presence or existence of god. i’m truely thankful for a physical place that brings me comfort and rest.
hope. my hope is in christ alone, the ultimate comforter and healer of my soul.
“i consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory about to be revealed to us.” romans 8:18
three whole years.
holy smokes, i love this little boy. he is hilarious and sweet, curious and rambunctious, just as a 3 year old little boy should be. he has taught me so much — about selflessness, and innocence, and about love itself. quite simply, he makes me want to be better and he makes me want to make this world a little better for him. i work harder, pray harder and love harder — all thanks to him. a couple weeks ago we celebrated his birthday, so here are some peeks into one of my favorite days:
happy birthday, baby boy. i am so proud to be your mama. xo
my sweet boy is 3 today! celebrating him and the joy it is being his mama. (Taken with instagram)
brother//sister
i hate to brag, but i win the award for the coolest siblings. i had something else planned to write about tonight, but i really miss them (i’m in nashville, brother is in dc, sister is in ft walton beach), so this is what you get. it’s way better anyway.
this is darren. i call him d. he is really, really, really funny. you don’t even have to really know him to know that. when he was little, he would sing puff the magic dragon to total strangers. it was pretty amazing. but what you might not know is he also is incredibly smart and kind. he thinks things through with tedious detail. he loves people whole-heartedly. it seems at times, he is easily judged, yet he is the last to judge anyone else. he is who he is without apologies or hesitation, and i just love that.
and this is ashley. i call her margo—it’s a long story. she is easily the strangest person i know. she’s this insane combination of guts and wit, brains and beauty. she is one of the most loyal people i know and definitely the most convicted person i know. her heart breaks for other people, including complete and total strangers, and she is brave enough to stand up for what she believes in. she has no idea how beautiful she is. she has the wonderful ability to laugh at herself (and her own jokes) and she’s not afraid to bust out some serious dance moves with an equally serious dance-face to match. she has given me the gift of really, truly being known. she finishes my sentences and knows what i’m thinking before my thoughts are even given opportunity to form into words.
they aren’t perfect, and neither would ever claim to be. but they make my life so full and i thank god that he gave me the gift of not ever remembering life without them. with the exception of the time i was bound and determined to force ash to utter her first cuss word, i don’t even remember the 3 of us fighting. i just remember us as friends. the best, longest and truest friends.
Eli making banana bread today:) perfect way to wrap up our weekend. (Taken with instagram)
Spent the day with e & e. It was perfect. (Taken with instagram)
two thousand ten.
january: our eli turned two! his birthday will always be one of my favorite days of the year.
february: we made a trip to biloxi then to new orleans to visit ash and clay. the following weekend, we sold our home in downtown franklin and moved to a new house in nolensville. we bought our first house less than a year after we got married and just about everyone that saw the condition it was in thought we were crazy. for four and a half years, we renovated it room by room, so selling it was incredibly bitter-sweet.
march: eli in pink for an easter egg hunt.
april: aaron won a trip to dave ramsey’s entreleadership conference in the bahamas! it was really rewarding for both of us and nice to take a vacation (although it was technically work) alone for the first time since our honeymoon.
may: aaron and eli surprised me on mother’s day with this potting table i had seen and fallen in love with. later that month, eli and i took a trip with my mom to ft walton beach to visit ash and clay’s new home.
june: my friend, ariel, took our family pics for eli’s two-year session the day before and after my 27th birthday.
july: our family trip to the beach. we saw the ocean a lot in 2010 which made me very happy.
august: eli and i spent a weekend in knoxville to visit grandmother and granddaddy. also, we started our blue stocking ladies book club. i love reading and i love these girls. that makes it a very good combo for me.
september: mccluskey girls weekend. me and my grandmother. i want to be just like her when i grow up. she’s funny and incredibly kind and she’ll tell you like it is.
october: we made a trip to dc to visit my brother, d, and ash and clay met us there. it was amazing and so much fun. and then, of course, is eli and his best friend, elliott. they are the cutest and they really do love each other. see?!?
november: i went to richmond to visit my dear friend, emily. i guess we were having so much fun we forgot to take pictures. or i was just too busy eating as much shrimp and grits as possible. then the day after thanksgiving, my sister gave me the sweetest surprise by coming home. one second i was in tj maxx drooling of le creset cookware and the next, i’m crying like a baby hugging her so tight i thought she might burst.
december: we celebrated mccluskey christmas and granddaddy’s 80th birthday. it was a really full month, but a sweet ending to a very happy year.
2010 was a year of change and growth for our little family. i am so grateful for the blessing it was, and super excited for 2011. happy new year, loves!
